On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
