sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize