i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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