I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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