Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
