Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i just google imaged poop.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
