You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
