I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize