Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
