You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
