Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
