i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
