You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
