that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
