I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
