Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Drake has all the answers
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
