We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
