U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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