Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
