Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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