i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
