girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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