Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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