Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
