Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
