Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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