I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
