its not stalking. its research.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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