Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
