I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
