is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
