Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Panties = found
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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