her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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