YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
