I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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