I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
