I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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