his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize