he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
