So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
