what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
