it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
