it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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