What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
