Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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