Sry I called you an 8
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
