I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
this boner is exhausting
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
