are you still at the devil's house?
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
