Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
