Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize