just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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