After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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