No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize