Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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