just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
