cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
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