Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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