New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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