just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
