dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
