...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
