clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize