new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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