my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
