i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize