Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
