Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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