My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sorry my hands just texted you
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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