he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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