I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
