Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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