I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
