Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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